Saturday, October 4, 2008

It's October... WHAT???

I really am just baffled that it is already October. But then again, time always flies. I'm not sure why I haven't gotten use to that fact by year 23. Every Christmas I am like, what the heck? Didn't we just have celebrate Christmas like 2 months ago? Strange.

I don't have any breaking news to share or really crazy adventure stories. However, I do just want to say that I have felt SO incredibly alive lately, and I guess free too. I'm not sure I can really describe the feeling. But it's SUCH a great feeling and I'm so so happy! I will say though that I think I've just really been living it up here in Charlottesville and with that and my experiences last year I think I'm really starting to understand who I am and who I have become and I love it! I really am enjoying myself and loving who I am for the first time in a really long while (probably since I was a little girl). To look at myself today compared even to who I was when I entered college at JMU - the transformation is mind boggling. The people pleasing has diminished big time, I am seeing my gifts more clearly, and I'm learning to do what makes me happy and not to worry if that means others don't like me or if I do those things alone. It's just beautiful to live a life where you don't feel like you have to be a cookie cutter set shape & also its beautiful to be able to take care of yourself and know your limits and stand up for yourself and for your needs & desires. So I guess when I said I don't really know how to describe it.. well I just did. Hilarious stuff. But I'm sure in the near future I will go through an identity crises and this alive-ness and freedom I feel may seem far away but so is life... it's neat to celebrate the victories Christ has given us daily! There was a day and even some months and years when I thought I'd never be able to say I'd feel alive and free again, but God is SO faithful and knew I needed to go through a time of valley in order to understand and experience the beauty of the mountain climb and top. Thanks Jesus, You're so smart in Your ways and Your master plan. I stink for pretending like I know what's best for me and for fighting Your insight!

Well I guess that is all for now. In the middle of this I had to pretty much chase my hamster all around my room trying to catch him to put him away and it was quite exhausting. That turd as Meghan Lyndsay Ballard would say. She gets married on the 25th and I get to be in the wedding- HURRRAY. Anyways, I'm out for now kiddies. But GO UVA, GO STEELERS, GO PENN STATE, GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO everyone except the Redskins and Virginia Tech and Ohio State of course.

Peace out cub scouts!

Sunday, September 28, 2008

I heart fall!

Well I have to say I used to mock the people who had "blogs" and thought they were pretty nerdy and had no lives. But now that I am one of those people I find the need to explain myself. I personally just need an outlet because I am one of those verbal processors. So there isn't much difference between verbally procressing and typed processing right?

I'm really excited that fall is finally here. It's my absolute most favorite season of the year! The colors, the smells, the activites, the temperature - have I sold you yet? I had my first Starbucks Hot Apple Spice drink last week (I call it fall in the cup - they should really think about changing the name) and it was DELIC! Two weekends ago when I was home in Pittsburgh we went to an orchard and picked out pumpkins - it's a Powdrell family tradition. Some of my classmates and I and hopefully the housemates are going to have a pumpkin carving party when the end of October gets closer. I'm thinking about a sweet Steelers design this year - or maybe UVA.

This past weekend was a busy one but a super fun one!
Cari Nash, one of my old housemates from Harrisonburg came
and visited. Friday night Sarah and I and Amy and Beth (2 of my classmates) all went to the UVA Women's Volleyball game. They lost - laaaammmme but we had fun people watching and trying to psych out the other team. Saturday was my most favorite. Sarah, Amanda, Cari, Amy, Beth, and I all went to Carter Mountain to do all the fall festivities- ya know... apple picking, cider drinking, wine tasting, laughing..
and it rained! which I think made it more fun. We were soaked and covered in mud!

Afterwards we went down the mountain to this famous restraunt called Michie's Tavern and had us some yum yum put in our tum tums. We got fat and loved every minute of it.
Then Dalty of course wanted some gift shop browsing time, next some errands, then to see Richard Geer's Notebook like movie. Everyone else cried and all I could say was "how does someone fall in love in 4 days... that's so unrealistic". We all laughed a lot about my obsurd comments. Thinking about my reaction later in the weekend I think I realized I protect myself too much from really appreciating love or getting emotionally attached like that because I'm fearful i'll never have that. don't want to get my hopes up or invest too much in the idea. I think i'm not alone in feeling that way but it was good to become aware of it and realize that I need to trust more that the Lord does have a perfect plan for my life! He has every single day planned out minute by minute and He truly does want good for me. More than good, He wants the BEST for me. I think sometimes we all allow Satan to convince us He doesn't want to give us the desires of our hearts but Satans a big weenie and a huge liar and deceiver. I'm believing and experiencing more and more each day that God truly is my biggest fan and desires to see me happy and fulfilled! Clearly I'm learning how to redefine what both those things look like not according to me but according to Him. Surrendering - tough stuff kids.

I also had a pretty juicy talk today with a friend about how much we get sucked into the notion that the grass is always greener on the other side. I'm learning how horrible I am at being content with where I am and what I'm doing. But through this procress my eyes have really been opened and reminded of the MANY blessings I have right now. I am going to an incredible university, living with 2 unbelievable sisters and friends, getting to hang out with super fun classmates, and figuring out who I am and who I'm becoming. God's given me the chance to actually process life here in Charlottesville and to begin slowing down my pace a little. I've been able to breathe and be filled up again. I've gone through an amazing healing process and have began to feel that freedom in Christ again! I really don't think the grass is greener on the other side this year. In fact, I think its super yellow, ugly, and dead! I'm super glad there is Grace. Grace, Grace, and more Grace.

Whelp, if you're still reading this I commend you. Impressive. I can't believe I've made it this far writing. I think that's it for now... I'd love to hear your comments and look forward to posting more on "life" soon! God bless kiddies!